Our Latest Satire: Streetsblog’s House Band, The Speeders, Perform ‘All We Get Are Cops!’

Mayor de Blasio has stopped taking questions about whether he will expand his limited “open space” pilot program consisting of four short stretches of roadway. He previously said he could not provide more open space to New York’s crowded, corona-affected populous because the spaces needed to be properly enforced by the NYPD.

We don’t think that’s true. We think many roadways in New York City could be placed off-limits to drivers with limited effort by the NYPD. And we certainly think there needs to be more open space during the virus shutdown — places where kids can ride their bikes without fear of being run over, where residents could walk outside without being crammed together (as they are in city parks), and where customers could socially distance themselves as they wait outside the few businesses that remain open.

In any event, the mayor’s apparent decision to de-prioritize open space prompted our latest song parody, “All We Get Are Cops,” a riff off the Beatles’ “All Together Now.” It’s not anti-cop — the 25 cops we spotted in an eight-block stretch of 34th Avenue in Queens (video below) are doing their jobs under difficult conditions. It is the mayor who put them in a position they need not be in: guarding a play street.

The latest song follows our satirical look at Staten Island pro-speeding vigilantes (“Tie A Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Cam’ra Pole“), the mayor’s failure to create enough open space (“Corona: C-Apostrophe-Rona!“) and our anxiety filled song about drivers who are speeding like crazy right now (“Feelin’ Zoom-y!“).

And if you just want to sing along with the Soundcloud embed and the lyrics below, be our guest:

One, two, three, four
We don’t need so large a corps
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten
Too many!

A B C D
Dermot Shea is no emcee
E F G H I J
Too many!

Bom bom bom bompa bom
Make the space, bompa bom
Fix your ops, bompa bom
It’s a joke, bompa bom
Don’t need cops!

All together now
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops

Black, white, too much blue
We don’t need this massive crew
Closed streets’re already safe
Bill don’t have a clue

All together now
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops

Bom bom bom bompa bom
Make the space, bompa bom
Fix your ops, bompa bom
It’s a joke, bompa bom
Don’t need cops!

All together now
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops
All we get are cops